Generally, when we think of a meltdown, we see a two or three-year-old not getting their way and throwing a tantrum, right? Well, not this week. Monday morning, you would have seen a 33-year-old woman crying in her car on her way to work because her 3 year old just had his own meltdown because she left him at school.
That’s no joke, it happened, to me. Monday morning. This happens probably 2-3 times per month, I’ve posted on Facebook about it, I’ve cried about it, I call my husband every time it happens and yet here I am, still coming to work EVERY single day and dealing with mom guilt.
I got to work, my boss saw me and knew I wasn’t in the zone. He asked what was up and I told him about my morning and how saddened I was with mom guilt. I told him that I should have called a mom friend who understands vs my husband who said we probably need to figure out ways to make my son less dependent upon me. I really just needed empathy, or a “we’re getting there babe.” My boss asked me if I thought I could stay home. Knowing my answer, I couldn’t admit my truth. I said, “I’m not sure, I’ve tried it before”. He said, ” I can see you staying home, you would find things to do.” THEN came THE question, ” could your side businesses support you?” “I’m not there yet,” I responded. I’m not. That is the truth. I want to be.
The fact that we had this conversation set me free though. I’m not sure if I needed my boss’ permission or just knowing that he wouldn’t judge me for letting go of something that wasn’t serving me. Again, I shouldn’t care, but I do. I needed the validation. I’m working on that though, don’t be worried about me!
I messaged Jacky and told her I needed help and guidance and was feeling stuck. She suggested I message our coach, Hannah. I did and did the answers surprise me? NOPE. She said exactly what I knew I needed all a long. She knows entrepreneurship is SO hard, she knows it isn’t for the faint of heart. She also knows me and that I will hide in my turtle shell and make every excuse not to do what needs to be done. She called me on it. She held the space I needed to actually call myself on it. She told me how proud she is that I actually called myself on my own excuse.
It’s interesting isn’t it? The way our mind plays tricks on us. The constant nagging and nit picking and negative thoughts all meant to sabotage our dreams. If we stay persistent and consistent things can change. IF we allow the negative thoughts to enter our minds, say, “thank you, not today.” and move on, you’re acknowledging the negative but saying you aren’t going to win today. I have places to go. We have to stay the course, with blinders on and head down. It’s hard work but it’s fulfilling work. If you aren’t fulfilled in your work we’d love to chat. There are so many things you can do TODAY to turn your life around, we’d be honored to share those with you.